Writing Diarrhoea

2 posts in one day (actually technically 2)? Wow, it must be something I ate.

It is actually 3am in the morning and at this moment - I am still wide awake... it is rather unfortunate as I have to be at work at 9am tomorrow with work and deadlines looming - life at the moment seems to have an unseemly urgency to it. One can imagine the sword of Damocles hanging over one's head...

All I can say is that my life lacks focus... kinda like my blog - and the stuttering way my blog seems to move... a total lack of direction. What makes me realises this? Remarkably the events in the past 6 days...

Let me recap,
1) Last Saturday, me and some high-school / really old friends met up for a cookout at a friend's place...
2) Last Sunday, was rather unremarkable - with the exception that I followed my mum down to the city and actually walked down the entire length of Petaling Street to get her her incense...
3) Last Monday, work was bad... until the evening when I brought one of my closer friends, his headcaster to meet my colleague and her friend - who happens to be in the F&B / Entertainment Business... the topic at hand was an upcoming movie...
4) Last Tuesday, I fell sick - with a tremendous headache, flu, fever and sore throat - reverted back to porridge and marmite for the 1st time in yonks...
5) Last Wednesday, I went up in flames at the dastardly pace and culture at work. Look the the gigantic mountain that is the work about to be due - raises fist to an uncaring sky...
6) Last Thursday, Flames at work continue - deadlines tomorrow, morons everywhere. Between meetings - looked at potential property. Went to starbucks - restarted blogging. Met up with my best friend over dinner - recap history, reiterated ideals and dreams - met up with a friend of a friend - talked about investment and the future...

Which brings me to this 3:12 am (12 minutes into this post): What is my direction? I have realised the following (in direct reference to the days above)

1) I miss my friends - we don't hang out as much anymore. I miss my girlfriend terribly - I have not have a decent convo with her for weeks, our schedules and time zones being major obstacles.
2) Malaysia is too hot.
3) I admire my friend for his courage of chasing his dreams, gratified that he chose to share it with us, proud to make it one of my own.
4) I hate being sick - I love being away from work. Marmite & Porridge tastes good!
5) Refer to 4). I hate work!
6) I really really need to have a direction to go forward.

So that brings me to? Where?

I must be insane to be up at 3am writing this. This is indeed a rambling and I am probably the maddest cow in the world...

3:16 am: God so loved this world that he gave his one and only son to die so that we who believe in Him may live... and have everlasting life

*grin* I am content.
Tomorrow will be a better day (albeit probably with a headache, 1hr drive to work and eye bags and my girlfriend waking me up at 7am).

3:25 am: And a house divided against itself, the house cannot stand

*sigh* I really need to chart my course.
Tomorrow I shall have to think hard - about my work, my interests in Architecture, my heart 1,000s of miles away in the other end of the world, my 'ownership' of a Really Strong Desire, my finances and my future.

3:30 am: He must increase, but I must decrease

*smile* I shall pray...