Saturday, April 21, 2007

Breakfast @ Vernony's

After the lameness of the above title - I have no choice but to further this totally pointless activity...

I love V for Vendetta... It was one of the most interesting movie I have watched recently - and of all things this line - of which V spewed out during his 1st contact with Evey...

"But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then... to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.

Viola! In view a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished.

However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.

The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.

Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V."

This is probably one of my favourite move line sequences of all time… and one that some emulation would be really fun…

YES - I TOOK the TIME to write THIS... :P

So I verily say to you that on this most rainless of days, permit me then – your most rabid of cows – to suggest the events of this morning’s rampant rampage of ravenous humans upon poor bacon rashers rinds and all…

This rambunctious demolition of rations, however, is not a mere random event of rapid consumption without thought of its ramifications; it is rather a rigorous practice of a rare and relaxing act – a release shall we say, a refreshment from the regulated rituals of our daily grind – that from hence forth need to be religiously celebrated with regularity.

The only reason for caution therefore is to remember the need for rest and reclination after today’s ravishment - a moment of retreat shall we say of our raging cholesterol levels – a month at least of rehabilitation to allow the regeneration of our reliable and required organs.

Readily shall I now remove my ridiculous and reprehensible fixation with the letter R and let me simply add that this morning’s breakfast is simply delightful – better than any reputable restaurant – and I relish every moment of it!

PS: Pictures of the breakfast will be up soon - just as soon as I figure out what is wrong with my server... cheers!

Overcoming 300...

Overcoming 300?

What? You say? That this rambling mad cow is somehow interested in a movie featuring men with overly expressive musculature? Crazy? Madness?

Say it! Say THIS IS MADNESS!!! You know you want to... SAY IT NOW!!!



You get the picture...
It is not a beautiful side - rather it is kinda... mad...

Like many others - I am now bitten by the 300 bug... (If you have not you MUST read Amir Hafizi's blog @ or directly to HERE or HERE) and I have gradually been sucked into what is best known as 300 lameness...

of course - fueled by our very own GCB... if you don't believe me - go have a look at Mr Prata here... or rather at this beautiful gif sent to my email just early this week...

Just to clarify... I don't think this is funny - but rather hilarious and kinda trying to my poor victims... however, God provided me with many opportunities to practice my rather childish fascination of all things 300... Read on...

Occasion 01
Location: Office
Victim: Poor Dear Dear Nutritionist with my company...

The Premise: Bad day in the office... busy - I act crazy
The Result:
"Errr... crazy..."
"No not crazy... Mad"
"Say it - say that I am MAD!!! Say that THIS IS MADNESS"
"ok... this is madness"

Occasion 02
Location: Office next to my office
Victim: Poor company secretary

The Premise: She asked for it
The Result:

"Hey - don't u think the weather is crazy?"
"Not really - I think it is MAD"
"Ya lor.... this a madness... so much rain"

Occasion 03
Location: In KLCC waiting to pay for parking
Victim: Dear friend and colleague

The Premise: Long day at KLCC - many people gathering around autopay machines... 1 was broken
The Result:

"Wah - so many people... this is madness"

Occaision 04
Location: Office building next to my office building
Victim: Nobody yet - but soon

The Premise: Idiots next door makes noise about us parking on our own premises... basically playing politics...
The expected result:

Mad Cow gets annoyed... rams into the behind of the COO and the CEO's car... screams... yells... takes out weapons...

"Nooooo - what you are doing is madness...."

"Tonight we dine in hell...."

I rest my case... I am mad
Say it... say it - SAY IT!!! - I know you want to....



Friday, April 20, 2007

Today I am a true Malaysian Driver...

Often was the question asked? What makes you a true Malaysian Driver?

Is it the deft touch of the wheel when you swerve through traffic jams? Is it the constant speeding on clear highways at night? Is it getting parking tickets? What about a brush with the law?

The obvious answer is... all of the above!

Today I am now a trueblood Malaysian driver!

I started by swerving in and out of traffic... RM430.00 to get new wheels (of course I am polite and put on the indicator)

Then I speed on highways at night... and in the day... RM150.00 for a speeding ticket

Which was followed by a parking ticket of which I ignore... RM30.00 (this was in PJ btw and I was only 5 minutes late to my car!)

Finally today I feel complete... RM100.00 to be forced to bribe the police (he asked for it!)

Being a true Malaysian DRIVER!!!... Priceless... :P

This is how it went down...
0915 AM: Southern KL-Selangor border... Picked up handphone to call waiting colleague in town around vicinity
0916 AM: Spotted Police
0917 AM: Car was stopped
0918 AM: Police inspects IC and Drivers License and proceed to whip out his summons book
0920AM: Still looking at summons book
0922 AM: "Encik, you tahu tak sekarang you akan kena RM300 untuk saman?"
0922 AM: *pause*
0923 AM: "Yes sir... I know - sorry, so how can I pay saman ini?
0924 AM: *pause*
0925 AM: "Sekarang pun boleh... you kerja mana?"
0925 AM: "Around here - picking up colleague saja - sorry - rushing for time"
0926 AM: "Ok... Ikut saya"
0927 AM: Follows Police into back lane behind a couple of shops... cue onlookers... cue chirping birds. Stops...
0930 AM: "Ok tuan..." writes down name and address on blank paper... looks really busy... onlookers look away
0933 AM: "Tuan nak saya bantu tak? Berapa? Senang sahaja... I boleh ambil you punya saman now... 1st time? RM 100 boleh..."
0934 AM: Whips out wallet and gave him RM100
0935 AM: "Ok - next time jangan ok?" returns license and IC... smiles... get on bike... zooms off...
0936 AM: Becomes true blood Malaysian driver...
0937 AM: Picks up colleague
0940 AM: Feels guilty to have been forced to bribe a law enforcement officer
0941 AM: Curse Malaysia
0942 AM: Decides to go back to Australia
0943 AM: Decides to stay back in Malaysia... hey... Malaysia! Apa-apa pun Boleh!!!!

...of blogs and of lack of activity *sigh*


Once again I have realised the complete and utter lack of activity on my blog - and since November!

Of late I have been bitten by the writing bug again - but as one of my closest friends said... "I am tired of checking your blog for updates - so inconsistent!"


Well - Life is like a box of chocolates... u never know when the mad cow is gonna blog...
I promise to do more... I really do