Unsettled in Singapore...

It has been a dull day - cloudy for the most part... but nevertheless a day of rest bestowed upon me, a solitude most welcome amidst the din of life rushing by...

Never have I had the time to sit down to look back in retrospect - at least for the past 1/2 year or so - ever since my journey to the Highlands. I never ever seem to have to time nor the ability to have some quiet time - I fear that the din of work, obligation and just plain irritation tend to overshadow all else...

Not today, not today - perched on the balcony on the 11th floor of Sheraton Towers in Singapore - where I have regained some semblance of peace and quiet. Very quiet in fact... so much so the flutter of a newpaper next to the air inlet the primary background noise. But nevertheless, the peace is unsettling - for it grants me a clarity of mind - a break in the clouds...

Why am I doing here so far away from where my heart sits all those lonely miles away between the cliffs of the Atlantic Ireland? What should the future holds for one who is not whole - neither here nor there? What should I do to alleviate the pangs of distance of one I so love? Where can be the middle ground where we can live- and let live?

In career (with reservations about the stupidity and total ineffectiveness of my workplace), in money, in enjoyment, in friends I lack not - climbing up (or rather being placed on a pedestal) to being a manager of a fast growing firm at 26 years of age, Friends that are lifelong and eminently loyal and caring crowds around me, wages that are above average for Malaysian standards, food around every corner... travel in every quarter...

But why am I unsettled? Why am I miserable at times, melancholic in others? I fear the answer stands stark before me, towering above a plain of gray nothingness...

I am not whole - and will never be unless...

Unless...

*sigh*

I have my tiny little lady by my side...

*grin*