Sunday, July 30, 2006

Am I a begger? Am I a leader?

This was the question I woke up with this morning... after a 12 hour sleep. This is a direct result in the events of last week...

It was a trying week - one that has drained much of my energy. A pre-launch product training- albeit an extremely successful one, which was unfortunately out of the expectations of my ultimate boss, who expected a full launch. A conniving CEO of the other company I am involved in, who has nothing better to do than to find ways to politically undermine my position.

On top of that, another project that I am involved in... I kinda let my enthusiasm got ahead of me... and I started to badly want a piece of the pie.

So what am I? Am I a begger? or am I a leader?
Should I go forward and assert myself to the people in my office - going directly into war with these people or should I try the path of discretion...

Should I continue to work hard in a project close to my heart but am feeling left out? or should I press my suit forward?

Tough questions for a Sunday...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Expressions... expressions...

Its 1:35 am and I have just completed an entry into this wonderful new blog coming up - the RSD blog that will record the journey of the RSD team. If you are unfamiliar with RSD - it is a Remarkable, Superb and Dynamic project we are currently working on *grin - yeap I am corny!*

The link is rite here

This just came to me right after my post on RSD - I realised that I sound so much more Christian in my writings than when I am talking. I have, to my knowledge, what I would call as a muted personality when it comes to expressing my Christian ideas in person. This is far far different when it comes to expressing myself in type or rather in writing.

I guess this is the way I express myself to you, God - using the written media as a canvas that shall paint to the world your Grace in my life and how much of my life you are in...

Talking about expressions - I garnered today how controlling one's expressions are important especially in public functions.

Tonight I and the other members of our Team Juvenescens (the current project I am working on at - where else? - Work) has finally launched a soft launch into the market. What I can say is that it was a good effort and I would personally applaud everyone involved in this project for the way it is conducted, the success that it is...

However, it has indeed came to my attention the sour face, the bad expression, the complaints, the head shaking and the disparaging comment of ONE particular boss of ours (one least involved or motivated by this project) - and openly in the event! Yes, *sacartiscally* after this performance my respect for you have multiplied manifold (please note the sacarsm) - as you have shown to me once again how not to run a company - how best to belittle another's effort and how NOT to be a boss! Oh, behold the pride of this one person that his way is the one and only way...

Nevertheless, I forgive you (in earnest, although still with a degree of anger) and I pray for God to show His Grace to you so that one day you may show that Grace back to the people that work for you.

In the end, I pray that one day someone will have the courage to reach to you about the Good News - and that you may see neverending unrequited love and unlimited grace. I pray that God shall protect the people that work under you - that they will be shown the grace that has been lacking - and that one day that same grace shall flow from your hands.

But He gives more grace.
Therefore He says:

“ God resists the proud,
But gives grace to the humble.”

James 4:5-7 (New King James Version)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Memoirs of a Homegrown Roadside Terrorist...

No... Contrary to what you are thinking at the moment - I am not about to pick up a bomb and rush into the nearest western hotel to blow it up...

Although the very picture of an Oversized, Malaysian Chinese Christian Terrorist sounds so out of this world that it makes me crack up...

I am talking about my Driving... or rather the Terror in my driving.

My frens - who I shall decline to name - have been telling me that my driving is getting quite bad... but 1st let me regale you the tale of 1 glorious morning of driving in KL...

My work place is in an industrial area about an hour from my abode. As such I have to get thru 4 highways.. actually 5 highway stretches of which sits an infinite number of fellow malaysian drivers - being a long and often boring journey I decided to take statistics... for that particular day...

1) 12 cars cut into my lane without an indication
2) 26 cars refused to allow me into their lane even when I have set up my indicator
3) On 7 occasions cars hogged the fast lane (i.e. travel really slowly and refusing to move to an empty slower lane

which make me do the following

1) Speed up 12 times denied 12 cars from entering my lane without indication
2) Accelerated over 26 cars once I hit a clear stretch of road
3) On 7 occasions I switched lanes and overtake from the left - twice swinging across 2 lanes...

Hmmmm....
I think I am getting a wee too much on defensive aggressive driving

Friday, July 21, 2006

Changing of the Page...

Hmmm - 3 posts and counting *grin*

I have decided to change the tired dull look of my blog into something - more classical. I am actually inspired by parchment, wax seals and everything that have this archiac look - call me a hopeless romantic but nevertheless they look really nice.

More is on the way - I have a couple of rantings on the way - I will try to get it up by today.

Catching up on the latest...

1) World Cup Fever is over but I have thing unusual compulsion to head over to a friend's place for a match - in fact I am rather itching to watch any football on the (relatively) big screen again... *sigh* I think I am going to be depressed...

2) Insanity... so close... work is driving me insane...

*grin*

Writing Diarrhoea

2 posts in one day (actually technically 2)? Wow, it must be something I ate.

It is actually 3am in the morning and at this moment - I am still wide awake... it is rather unfortunate as I have to be at work at 9am tomorrow with work and deadlines looming - life at the moment seems to have an unseemly urgency to it. One can imagine the sword of Damocles hanging over one's head...

All I can say is that my life lacks focus... kinda like my blog - and the stuttering way my blog seems to move... a total lack of direction. What makes me realises this? Remarkably the events in the past 6 days...

Let me recap,
1) Last Saturday, me and some high-school / really old friends met up for a cookout at a friend's place...
2) Last Sunday, was rather unremarkable - with the exception that I followed my mum down to the city and actually walked down the entire length of Petaling Street to get her her incense...
3) Last Monday, work was bad... until the evening when I brought one of my closer friends, his headcaster to meet my colleague and her friend - who happens to be in the F&B / Entertainment Business... the topic at hand was an upcoming movie...
4) Last Tuesday, I fell sick - with a tremendous headache, flu, fever and sore throat - reverted back to porridge and marmite for the 1st time in yonks...
5) Last Wednesday, I went up in flames at the dastardly pace and culture at work. Look the the gigantic mountain that is the work about to be due - raises fist to an uncaring sky...
6) Last Thursday, Flames at work continue - deadlines tomorrow, morons everywhere. Between meetings - looked at potential property. Went to starbucks - restarted blogging. Met up with my best friend over dinner - recap history, reiterated ideals and dreams - met up with a friend of a friend - talked about investment and the future...

Which brings me to this 3:12 am (12 minutes into this post): What is my direction? I have realised the following (in direct reference to the days above)

1) I miss my friends - we don't hang out as much anymore. I miss my girlfriend terribly - I have not have a decent convo with her for weeks, our schedules and time zones being major obstacles.
2) Malaysia is too hot.
3) I admire my friend for his courage of chasing his dreams, gratified that he chose to share it with us, proud to make it one of my own.
4) I hate being sick - I love being away from work. Marmite & Porridge tastes good!
5) Refer to 4). I hate work!
6) I really really need to have a direction to go forward.

So that brings me to? Where?

I must be insane to be up at 3am writing this. This is indeed a rambling and I am probably the maddest cow in the world...

3:16 am: God so loved this world that he gave his one and only son to die so that we who believe in Him may live... and have everlasting life

*grin* I am content.
Tomorrow will be a better day (albeit probably with a headache, 1hr drive to work and eye bags and my girlfriend waking me up at 7am).

3:25 am: And a house divided against itself, the house cannot stand

*sigh* I really need to chart my course.
Tomorrow I shall have to think hard - about my work, my interests in Architecture, my heart 1,000s of miles away in the other end of the world, my 'ownership' of a Really Strong Desire, my finances and my future.

3:30 am: He must increase, but I must decrease

*smile* I shall pray...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Picking up the pen?

"it is once said that life is a long train journey... all of us clutching a class 2 ticket between our thumb and our index finger. The journey can be ardous, it can be monotonous, it can be... tiring and trying - the aircon breaks down... or a particularly beautiful lady will deign to sit beside your hard seat for a little while. A journey punctuated by train stations - where the people you have contact with in your carriage gets on and off..."

Woken out of my reverie by the calling of my name (by the nice barista behind the counter @ Starbucks in Plaza Damas - 20:20 hours on the 20th of July 2006), I wondered thereafter who actually said that - only to have a sudden realisation that I wrote that similar passage for my high school yearbook - not in similar words but rather the entire idea of our life being a train ride - with stations to punctuated the journey - stations with names like "Going to High School", "Leaving High School", "1st Love" and "1st breakup"... I just have to smile at myself...

It has been almost 10 years since I passed the station I mentioned all those years ago - since 1997 - and I wondered what other stations have I passed thru to get to where I am today... "Going to A Levels", "Graduating A Levels", "1st Date", "1st Prom", "University", "Accepting Christ", "3 year long obsession", "end of 3 year long obsession", "Love...", "Be Loved...", "Leaving Australia", "Homecoming..." and many many more little ones in between...

I can't help but to realise what a big web my life has been... my 'train' crisscrossing the landscape that is humanity - and I cannot realise how much has everyone... and God have given me...

I am truly awed...

and besides - it was that moment that I remembered this portal of expression of His goodness *grin* and I shall pick up the pen once again... hopefully this time it will stay in my hands for a long time...

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Travelling again

I am gonna go traveling again *grin* Where you ask? Where Else! (Irelandlar *grin*)

I think I shall start a travelblog *grin*

http://www.travelpod.com/members/slann

Friday, December 30, 2005

...Ticking Time Bomb

I have just realised one very succint fact in my life here in Malaysia - I am a ticking time bomb - waiting to go off at anytime...

I do not like the responsibilities I am saddled with here in Malaysia - yet the public opinion is that I have no responsibilities...

My work is mind-bogling, quite hard and totally irritating (due to lack of processes, order and banging heads with everyone else) - yet as I am supposedly 'my own boss' it is perceived as easy, laid back and even dismissed...

I frequently have to make plans on the fly, contend with shifting plans and timetables - yet when that happens I was previously accused of excluding peoples...

I try to keep in touch with many friends from myriad groups - yet being accused by all sides for not spending enough time with all of them...

I have a family that nips at my heels - putting me in an undesired and unwanted position back here in Malaysia - yet not understand that I need my space, my time and my hobbies to keep me sane...

I am in a country where some drivers are rude, some people are shallow with a total lack of civic pride, some clients are pushy and annoying...

I am here almost 1/2 the world away from my dearest, of which I only see once every couple of months max, of which I have to keep track of the time difference and schedules.... yet I am expected to be content...

I am a ticking time bomb waiting to explode - cross me not fair peoples, for I shall cross swords with thee... anger me not, for the wick is already burning...

I am a ticking time bomb...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Still waters....

Ok - this is my first picture post from my trip in Europe - I decided to go backwards - This is from the last weekend I was there in Ireland @ the lakes of Killarney (Cill Arnie in Gaelic)...

This is the middle lake of Killarney - with Hwa trying to look cute at the corner (and succeeding mind you - I think she knows of this blog already...)
Another view of the middle lake - behind it is part of the highest mountain range in Ireland.

It was winter but on that day we managed to have clear skies - although the temperature is about 5-10 degrees only.

A break in the clouds along the ring of Kerry road - touted as the most beautiful albeit dangerous tourist road in Ireland (it is on the southwest coast - abutting 2 bays and the Atlantic)

The lakes are actually remnants of a glacier in the region during the ice age...

More pictures are in line but blogger is refusing to work...

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Die Königreich der Himmel

Greetings all! I am back in KL! *grin* Will definately be posting up a lot of piccies about my trip to Europe - if my bandwidth allows it.

Yesterday I watched a movie I have been wanting to watch for ages and ages - The Kingdom of Heaven... dubbed The Kingdom of Boredom by numerous critics etc. Mindless, brainless and supercritical critics who does not a thing but being a professional complainer and trasher of another's work. It is not that I have something against critics - like the ones in the Star - but sometimes people deserves some credit for their work - my challenge to them - produce a multi-million dollar movie, keep to the budget and the dateline, please the stars... and then you can have the bragging rights and a right to criticise.

The Kingdom of Heaven... Die Königreich der Himmel...
The movie was surprisingly o.k. considering all the trash hurled at it thus far - a tale of a lowly blacksmith rising to become the defender of Jerusalem at its siege - the going may be a little slow and the plot may be a little overused (not by my standards) but it still delivered a stirring tale of almost actual events (go read the history of the Kingdom of Jerusalem on wikipedia) and the fall of Jerusalem to the muslims after a 100 year crusader rule.

The story tells us about tolerance and how easy for it to be broken by radicals on both sides. It tells us about the emptiness of religion as opposed to the richness of faith (this is purely what the movie tells me). Faith that move mountains... Faith that held the enemies at bay.

Tolerance - I live in a multi-cultural society of many differing religions and faiths - and yes we need to be tolerance - all those fire and brimstone talk about crushing your enemies and bombing them to kingdom come may be useful to a select few to destroy society (yeap terrorists are in this group) is nothing. We as Christians also cannot deny that our history was unblemished - the Crusades are evidence of greed over faith, violence over love - our God is a kind and loving one - and it is not for us to judge and to end life - as murder and death is the ultimate form of temporal judgement.

The movie also provided one point - that life wins over places in importance - especially in the sight of God - Matthew 26 tells us as much... the words of the great commission empowers us to save souls - not conquering the world and killing the heathen - when one is dead how can one be saved - and do remember that one of the temptations of Jesus was the dominion of all men. Up to this day Jerusalem is still the most hotly contested real estate in the world - between Jews and Muslims, between christians - Catholic and Orthodox... between Israel and Palestine - is this really necessary? or is it just a rallying call for the sweet seduction of power?

So I say to thee, quarrel over Jerusalem not - for there are more important things out there - your own societies, your own poverty, your own economy, your own people - for you are not doing any favours to the sick, the infirm and the weak. Look inwards o Palestine for your violence will do thee more harm than Israel ever could...

As for us Christians? We are now uninvolved... that is not true for most of us do support Israel in some way or another. I say we look beyond Israel and beyond Palestine to Israelis and to Palestinians - both equally in need of peace and the grace of almighty God. Stay with Matthew 26, go forth and give the love of Christ to all - for Love does no evil...

For we are the lightbearers upon this world... we are all apostles of the most holy God... we all contain within us the light of the world... we are all vessels of God's will... we are, and always will be...

The Kingdom of Heaven

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Going Away!!!

Hey - greetings from Changi Airport - on the way to Frankfurt-Madrid-Barcelona-Cork-Limerick-Dublin-Frankfurt *grin*

will definatelt try to keep everyone updated - watch this space for photos - gonna turn me ramblings into a photoblog for awhile... (better than not doing any blogging at all rite????)

*grin*

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Apologies

Well - I apologise to all of you as I was totally off blogging for a while - I promise I will be back as soon as I can...

Been really busy lately with work and other things...

Cheers!

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Malaysians... Singaporeans... & Malaysia

This blog is starting to seem like a patriotic rant against the world - and deeply entrenched in the world of politics... oh well... maybe it is just me :P

Anyways - during my daily routine in the office, I dedicated about 1/2 an hour to go online and just browse. And in that routine is a sub-routine in which I will check out blogs of other bloggers online... one of which is www.kennysia.com and another being www.xiaxue.blogspot.com

Well, funnyleee enough, the person who introduced me to xiaxue was in fact my girlfriend - who as a student (last year) studiously followed that particular blog. She actually brought me to the site when I was visiting her in Dublin - my 1st impression was - WoW SO PINK!!!! ARRRRRGH!

Nevertheless, since I have become not a convert but yet a semi-regular reader...

My attention recently was the furore over 'KL pretty much sucked'. I for one is a regular KLite (person living in KL) and was initially irritated by her comments - but she was indeed giving her 2 cents worth - a person who does not lash out after being cheated, molested and so on so forth is a saint - a virtual impossability in this world.

The point it the comments she received has driven her into hiding... (or something akin to that) - The reaction of kind, compassionate Malaysians has driven her even further away from Malaysia - I am positively aghast at the idea - what happened to discourse to convince her that the Malaysian way is not as ugly as she pictured? Instead she saw the extreme ugliness of Malaysian society - kiasuness and an over bearing INFERIORITY COMPLEX that does not warrant any critism of Malay-Sian-ness.

Come on people...
We are 48 years independant - yet we still cling on to the fear of neo-colonialism...
We are 48 years independant - yet we do not suffer criticism of Malaysia - we should have grown up and react in the proper manner... not like children saying I am right and YOU are wrong...

Don't get me wrong here - I am as Malaysian as everyone of us - I challenge you to call me a traitor to my country - I am secure in the fact that I am a Malaysian, loyal yet open to criticism... yet...
THINK!!!
How many times do you yourself criticise how this or that toilet stinks? How many times do you try to prise yourself out of the LRT being swamped by unruly people that is rushing in? How many time do you swear at the offending Kancil, weaving in and out between cars or the motocyclist trying their very best to kill oneself?
How many times have you shouted at idiotic vendors trying to cheat you? Or be incensed by a grope and a pat in the press of people?

I heard on Hitz.fm of a person whose friend got her wallet stolen on Merdeka Night... What do we have to say about that?

Look not ourside for faults - but look inside our own land before commenting vehemently about another's true insight and opinions...

We are here to protect our guests, and to showcase Malaysia - not to cover our own arses to the fare thee well...

So there...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Sun of Winter Solstice...

This article was written for antiphony in Melbourne and it kinda reflect what is swimming in my head right now...

Here goes...

The Sun of Winter’s Solstice

The sunlight was very bright, but the land remained cold, the wind biting. It was the sun of winter’s solstice, and while it bathes the world with a glorious light, there is no warmth, no life…

As we look upon this world, we see many wonderful things. Things that make us congratulate ourselves about the greatness of humanity. How great is Malaysia to build the world’s tallest buildings, how remarkable are we to send people into space, and how wonderful is medical science today… that and many more achievements and progress made by us humans, masters of this world.

This is not limited to a sense of satisfaction for our collective achievement but our own achievements as well. I remember the feeling I felt when I got my A-level results four years ago, the deep sense of satisfaction – pride I would say. I remember moments in my life I would term as ‘victories’ and ‘successes’ with pride and satisfaction. I was positively glowing like the sun on high noon, and the rays just get brighter and brighter with each passing accolade – until I lost myself in the blinding light and forgot where I came from…

It is easy to count on one’s temporal satisfactions and achievements but at the very end, it may as well be hollow. I grew up in not a Christian family but a pseudo-Buddhist, semi-Atheist environment where achievements and results are paramount. Devotions are not given to the ‘gods’ in worship but in expectation that favours will be granted. It was easy to loose myself in my achievements, my intelligence and my pride – that nothing is impossible to achieve, the world beneath my feet, king of my world. My world? What a curious statement. It all but took one day to take it all away. One day for God to show me how hollow my world was… taking away my academic achievements, the love of one particularly important friend and domestic peace, I was nothing and I saw that I live for nothing but an empty cause. And that was the most terrifying day of my life.

But things change. A day later I was filled with warmth and happiness – being full of life! What is the change? God! Accepting Him on 9th December 2000 (almost 3 years ago), someone to call saviour and love of my life changed everything. I was filled with love and warmth and a fuzzy feeling inside. Everything seemed to have changed! But did it really? Did things really change? Yes… but, but Why? God is that simple answer but the truth lies even deeper than you would realise… it is not only God but the acceptance of God and His cause that changed everything…

And what is His cause? Is it to build a bigger church? Is it to make you better friends to one another? For you to love one another – better? Is it that simple? Or is it to build humanity to achieve world peace? Eliminate poverty? Is it that complex? The answer is even simpler that you ever realize – more basic than anything in this world…

What is the bible? Many would answer it is the word… the guide to life, the one book to rule us, and in brightness bind us… or something along those lines – but is it really just that? Let me ask you a simple question – why do novelists want to get published? Why do reporters want the latest scoop? Why do people want to write blogs online? Why? Think about it – to make themselves known… so the Bible? To make Himself known!

The bible is the platform for God to work in this world. Without it to chronicle His holy work for 4,000 years, we would not stand here today and call ourselves Christians! This is mass media in its finest – the most published book in history! And we have but one important task to do… to continue publishing it – and spreading it. Think of the church as the biggest publishing house in the world and we are its biggest distributor. Matthew 28:18-20: And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo; I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen![1] Sounds familiar? The Great Commission, the greatest task we have today. His greatest cause! I am saying that we must neglect cleansing and setting ourselves right with God – but one thing we cannot is to become islands of light in a sea of darkness. We cannot be like the sun of winter solstice, bright and shining but providing no warmth to the world around us.

Once there were churches teaching that we need to keep ourselves clean and pure we must associate more with Christians and only Christians! What does the clean have to do with the unclean? I have heard many quoting bits and pieces from the bible about that, but what about the Great Commission? I was truly blessed to have friends that were willing to walk amongst the ‘unclean’, so that I was given the choice to come back to God – so that I now can walk amongst the shadows in this world, bearing the torch of Christ.

The Great Commission is not only restricted to missionaries but to everyone that calls himself a Christian. Needless to say, we all need to be ‘Pauls’ and ‘Peters’ of this generation. The world is fast approaching 10 billion souls – of that more than 65% remains lost. Of the world’s 13,000 languages, 60% remains without a translation of the word. Surprisingly, 60% of Christians is now from non-Western countries, and Christianity is in retreat in most of the Western world. This trend needs to be reversed. Acts 1:8: But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uppermost part of the earth[2]. This was spoken to the twelve in Jerusalem, of which they reside. The message was clear – send not only people to reclaim lost peoples in jungles at the ends of the world but also people into their own land, their own city. And that we need to do today…

I am Malaysian, and proudly so… some of the people most responsible for bringing me to God were from Malaysia, from Singapore… from Australia. We, my friends, are placed in a unique situation, one of many nations, many countries but with a singular cause. Thus, I urge you to bring back His cause to your nations when you return home. Preach and spread His word to your home, your street, your city… your country. Pray for protection and deliverance of your nation’s leadership. Pray for wisdom and strength to stand up for Christ. Pray for His Grace and for Him to work wonders in your life – When men works, man works; when men pray, God Works[3]. And fear not… for He has promised us victory. Psalm 2:8 Ask of me, and I will make nations your inheritance, and ends of the earth your possession. You will break them with a rod of iron, and dash them in pieces like a potter’s vessel[4]

Enough said, so what can be done? Remember the words from the song ‘To the ends of the world’ from Hillsongs? And I would give the world to tell Your story, Cause I know that You’ve called me… I’ve lost myself for good within Your promise, I won’t hide it… I won’t hide it…[5] So number one, Don’t hide it! Mobilise for witness! Pray for Him to work in this world. And so much more – below are something we can all pitch in to do[6]:-

1. Maintaining a clear witness to the uniqueness of Christ
2. Sustaining the centrality of the Scriptures
3. Pray for effective local congregations (like our church)
4. Pray for leadership – of the church and the nations of the world.
5. Maintain Victorious Optimism and a missionary vision.
6. Pray for individual revival, corporate restructuring, social revolution and kingdom restoration.

Thus, we need to act now so that we can build up our generation for God. Act now so we can be true suns, shining with warmth into the world – truly bearing the torch that Christ have left behind for us to hold. So that we will no longer be hollow people that look shining and bright – but have no warmth and heat within.

[1] King James Version, Matthew 28:18-20
[2] King James Version, Acts 1:8
[3] Hans von Staden, instigator of Operation World
[4] New International Version, Psalm 2:8
[5] To the ends of the Earth, Hillsongs Australia.
[6] Some extracts from Operation World, Patrick Johnson & Jason Mandyk.

This article was submitted but never edited nor published as it was the end of a cycle of Antiphony. However, these thoughts continued to flow in my head - so much so that I actually dug through 3 old hard disks to look for it...

Monday, August 29, 2005

...dreaming of new cars and hearing of returned cars

Hmmm...

Let me see - I have not managed to get myself a car yet - so at the moment I am currently driving a venerable mercedes benz that belongs to my family... no complaints - hehe - as it is still a damn good car :)

However, I have been dreaming of getting a new car - hopefully by early next year - the choice of the car has yet materialised - tossing between a BMW 3-series, a 2nd hand BMW 5-series or maybe a Mazda RX8 - hmmm :P

The virtues of all the cars are their performance and need I say - attractiveness :) However, some of my friends say I ought to consider my apparent portliness (not in any denial day - it is thoroughly apparent) - says I need 2 get a Harrier or a Tuoreg....

Now talking abour Tuoregs - thats a VW car mind you...
I can't help but noticing VW in the newpapers these couple of months - a company that may potentially enter our nation's industry...

News of a certain former leader's actions and disagreements...
One thought - with all due respect (and I do respect him so), the future beckons, and we walk forward not backwards...
What is past is in the past, and there is no use for the media or the people to dwell on the past and its legacies...

Cars may be returned (as someone has done) and that may enter the front pages... History cannot be returned or rewritten (as I sometimes want to do) - so stop this childishness and move on... it is time for the current and future leaders of this country to lead... powerful hands they may be.

We are not Singapore - there is no senior minister, no minister-mentor and no future minister-ancestor-god-deity...

We are Malaysia and we are 2 days away from our 48th birthday...
It is time to grow up and move from the shadows of our 'bapas' and grow up and move towards our vision - which is still Wawasan 2020...

They did, after all say...
The future is defined by what we do in the present,
The present is defined by what we did in the past...
But let not the past define the present...
for then there shall be no future

Saturday, August 27, 2005

For the land of Israel...

Well,

At this moment I am sick...
Running a hugh fever, coughing and other wat nots - and its 6am in the morning and I cannot get back to sleep...

Now - Israel - I am sure that you guys are aware of the recent painful withdrawals in the Gaza Strip and the West Bank...

The news is that Israel is abandoning Judea and Samaria or at least various part of their proclaimed 'God given Land' and by Sharon nontheless... and I was shocked when I read the following statement by the Palestinians today...

"These settlements and peace are two parallels that won't meet," said Palestinian negotiator Saeb Erekat. "I hope their choice will be peace, not settlements."
and this

In Gaz City, Hamas held a large rally to celebrate the Israeli pullout. About 5,000 people, including men carrying anti-tank rockets, rifles and submachine guns.

The militant group repeated its calls to avenge an Israeli arrest raid that killed five Palestinians in the West Bank this week.

"The retaliation is coming and the blood of our beloved people will not go in vain. We will be happy to hear the news when our fighters succeed and get revenge for their blood," said Nizar Rayan, a Hamas leader in the Jebalya refugee camp.

Is there any thanksgiving?
Is there any peace?

Ungrateful - unrepentant - and ridiculous - the real aggressors of this war is not Ireal but the Palestinians... and the world is fooled by their 'plight'

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

...through the valley of the shadow of death


The past couple of days have been bleak in my eyes...

But nevertheless I remembered one verse that had carried me through all the problems I had had prior to this...

The LORD is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever

I would not say I am a strong Christian, especially in this homeland of mine... I sometimes put down myself as a 'practical' christian that accepts things he cannot change... A christian willing to accomodate differing opinions, ideals & even religions in a quest to reach out to them... One of the things I realised over the past weekend is that I carry a #!^*load of baggage on my back as well as my heart - and that to truly live as a Christian I must start to lose them.

Another thing I realised is that I have a tendency to put my hopes into something secular and tangible - and not so much in faith and loyalty to the Lord. It is extremely telling when your faith was severely tested.

Mine was.
And the Lord shall prevail...

I personally feel that Malaysia is currently walking in the valley of the shadow of death - but I shall not despair.

I personally feel that our people are living beneath that shadow - but I shall not fear

I wanted a change in Malaysia. I wanted a better world. I wanted a just society. I wanted the easy way out (any more I shall add that I want world peace :P) - but I shall not want

For the LORD is my sheperd.
For He restoreth my soul.
For the LORD shall lead me to the paths of righteousness.
For He is with me.
For His rod and staff comforts me...

FOR THE PREPARES THE TABLE IN FRONT OF MINE ENEMIES...
for the annoints my head with oil...

With His amazing grace, and His faithfulness to his word - SURELY GOODNESS AND MERCY SHALL FOLLOW ME THROUGHOUT MY LIFE...

and I shall unwaveringly dwell in the House of the Lord - forever...

and I shall await the fulfilment of His word - over me, over this land, over this people, over His enemies...
and mark my word - mark His words for their days are numbered - because the cry of Malaysia is great - as was the cry of Sodom and Gomorrah... because the sin of Malaysia is great - as was the sin of Sodom and Gomorrah...

But unlike Sodom and Gomorrah - I can verily say that there are righteous men in this land that shall take up the reins - The Lord shall rain upon Malaysia and upon His Enemies brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven - and the land shall go up in smoke - but His amazing grace shall spare this land and its people barring His enemies - and His kingdom shall come...

Now and forever...

Monday, August 22, 2005

Dreams & Nightmares


It is amazing how a short period of time can cause such a shift on opinion and feeling. What previously was a symbol of hope and the future now has become a symbol of mockery and of contempt.

A series of events that has happened over the weekend may have irreversably cause a negative change in my heart and my feelings towards an idea that I have held out in hope over the past three years - a Malaysia that is free from corruption, a Malaysia that is changing for the better, a Malaysia of a political class that is subservient to the people it represents...

Recent changes in Malaysia has given me what I thought is a irrepressable hope for the future of the nation I am proud to belong. A nation of which I was certain that the wings of change are coming - a nation where the people will be restored, and wrongs righted...

But it was not to be...
There was no change...
There will be no future...

To anyone out there that actually read this, these are the words of a person whose hopes were invariably crushed. A dark heart remains deep within Malaysia's great achievements, a great pretender still stands amongst the people of this nation...

The flag still sways to the wind... but it is no longer instilling hope for the future - but rather with the mockery of democracy, the mockery of the past

Friday, August 19, 2005

Malaysia & Singapore…

I have always been portrayed by my peers as an avid Malaysia lover and a vehement Singapore hater… but that is simply not true. I consider all Singaporeans as lost children of Malaysia that shall return the their motherland’s warm and expansive bosom – one day :P

I have many Singaporean friends – so much so that if you start counting friends they would be about 30% of my friends – considering I never studied there or was in Singapore in any long length of time – it is pretty amazing…

Below is a little tale that spontaneously appeared…

A Tale of Two Countries: Malaysia and former Malaysia (Singapore)

What is the difference between Malaysia & Singapore? A common question that we usually hear overseas – I will try and explain this…

Lets see…
This is a map of Malaysia and Singapore (courtesy of Google Earth)...





Now if u can see – the area coloured red is Malaysia…
The red dot is Singapore… The one under the word Singapore… (the other one is Ho Chi Minh City). Please note the dot is bigger than Singapore itself on this map…

The other major country in the region is Indonesia to the south, Thailand to the north & china to the far north. (China is important – we shall see why later)

This is a close-up of Singapore in relation to Malaysia





However, in the eyes of our people… things look a bit different…
Most Malaysians look at Singapore this way…

Small small kacang only…
To be fair – most Singaporeans think this way…


But then… Malaysians could have a lot more quality beach resorts if it was this way…

Can u imagine how big Johor port would be? Whah…. And also all the beaches in a sheltered bay? Amazing….
This may seem bad but then look at this…
Note the border of china near Malaysia?
Waaah – they claimed the entire South China Sea…
(A Chinese foreign ministry official once commented that it belongs to China because it is the South CHINA Sea…)
Does that mean that Bukit CINA (malay spelling), all the Kampung Baru CINA, ‘China’ press all belong to China too?
Hehe - vely vely sound lohgic…
So there… I hereby rename the sea… I can almost hear our foreign minister now... "We have laid claim to all the islands in the North Malaysia Sea... In addition we close all shipping in the Straits of Malacca (by virtue of it being having Malacca in it). This is due to recent developments with India laying claim to the entire Indian Ocean and Japan the entire Sea of Japan."

Our Flags… now our flags here are sacred… and besides we are not suppose to do anything or say anything bad about them… however, I don’t remember that we cannot interpret it :P
The Malaysian Flag


Hmmm... looks like the American flag but more…
Important Points
1) The world’s most unique star… Yeap – NO ONE (hahahaha) no one else in the world have a 14 pointed star… 13 for every state, 1 for all the federal territories (formerly for Singapore).
The only problem is that it is the most annoying star to draw… go ahead try and do it – the angles will confound you. And we had 2 draw it when we were children in primary school (I remember wishing we have Indonesia’s flag)
2) We have… *drum roll* 14 lines to our flag – haha – America has 13 line… We have 1 more than you!!! Beat that!

Looking at it closely, we can see that the Malaysian flag is one helluva kiasu flag… which kinda fits in our national psych of creating the biggest dam- Bakun dam (not built), longest bridge – from Melaka to Dumai in Sumatra (not built), the tallest TWIN towers (built – remember Taipei – u may have 1 tallest building in the world rite now but we had 2!!!), the world’s longest undersea electricity cable to connect East and West Malaysia (not built – no need – no Bakun dam), world’s largest flag atop the world’s tallest flagpole (yeap that’s us!)
And now – can u believe it – we may have the world’s most crooked bridge…
and we are sharing that record with Singapore…

Now for Singapore (hehehe)



Looking at this flag – I also see the kiasuness of the country :)

1) 5 stars (4 more than Malaysia)
a. 5x5 = 25 points (11 more than Malaysia’s star)
2) Red & White represents the Indonesian maid population
3) Moon shows that we were once part of Malaysia…

Last but not least 5 stars lar oui! Not many countries have 5 stars! Other countries that have more stars are…
The world’s biggest superpower


The world’s driest country

1.4billion people live here….


Come to think of it… Singapore have 5 stars too – like China… hmmm – could we be meaning – Chinese lives here too :P


Another thing that is different from Malaysians and Singaporeans – it is the understanding of our national anthems :P…

Put it frankly – All Malaysians understands our National Anthem… legacy of a government imposed Malay language education – but a lot of Singaporeans don’t understand their National Anthem – due to an English based education (the national anthem is in… *drum rolls* Malay!)

Now… there is more *I can hear the groaning in the background*

The truth is… Malaysia & Singapore are like brothers and sisters. One is not better off without the other. Singapore rely on Malaysia as a food supplier, water supplier & industry/workers while Malaysia rely on Singapore for investment, expertise. Besides we are one and another’s biggest trading partner.

The very essence of our differences is that we went our own way from one common beginning. In retrospect, it was a good move to divide Malaysia from Singapore and Singapore from Malaysia. It enabled both countries to grow at their own pace with their own priorities. If Singapore never left Malaysia, I don’t foresee Kuala Lumpur being so advanced (a country is always centred on its biggest city – which would have been Singapore) and there would have been this internal tension between the northern and southern parts of the country.

In conclusion, there is no difference between a Malaysian and a Singaporean. Deep down, we share the same fears (of being inundated by refugees from an unstable neighbour), we breath the same haze filled air (depending on the wind direction & the aforementioned neighbour), we share the same goals – prosperity, peace and progress…

In the end, in the month of August, of which we have both our Independence Days – I would say ‘Majulah Singapura’ and ‘Malaysia Boleh!’

May God bless all of us and may His kingdom come…

...Malaysia

I would not presume to be the most patriotic of men but I do have a deep sense of feeling towards my country... Malaysia


This is my current view from my room in the office - we put up the flags in celebration of Merdeka day later this month.

Looking at it puts me in a reflective mood of the place I grew up in - not a bad place actually. Contrary to popular belief - Malaysia is a free country - or else I would not have become this highly critical nut I am today.

But what is patriotism? is it Malaysia Bolehism? or Nationalism? or any other nation associated ~isms? If we look deep down I think we will see that patriotism is just a deep love for the people, the places and the very idea of Malaysia - multicultural, multiethnic, multireligious, multitypesoffood, multipoliticalparties, multiwawasan and multipatrioticsongs...

*cue on song - Inilah barisan kita......*

Keranamu Malaysia....